TTC Update

So along with the new year came my annual physical. My doctor was actually very open and engaging (which was a pleasant change). The appointment started on a positive note since I was down 20 pounds since my last exam! She congratulated me and her demeanor immediately switched to the new and improved version of my GP. Anyway - she decided to run some follow up blood work. The test results came back showing increased insulin levels and the decision was made to start metformin to combat those PCOS symptoms. I was slightly stressed about this initially, but after doing some of my own research have found that many women have great success using this treatment in their fertility journey. My previous physicians have had me on clomid and other hormone therapies. I'm anxious to see how this goes. I haven't had any horrible side effects. I guess we will wait and see.

New Year, New Me

I know... Totally cliche right? But I want so badly for this to be true.

So what's new for me in 2013?
I'm going back to school - finally finishing my degree.
Really getting healthy - no fad diets here. We're talking lifestyle changes.
Removing negative influences - saying goodbye to people and things that bring me down.
Focusing on family - not only me and the hubby and our desire to have kids, but also our loved ones that get unknowingly neglected at times.

2012 was not the best year for me and my family. I'm glad to be able to start fresh in 2013... Plus 13 is my favorite number!

Plotting the Course

In my last post I was very honest with myself and everyone else about where we were in our trying to conceive (TTC) journey. I think that really helped mentally prepare my husband and I for what lies next. Fertility issues are such a private matter initially as you try to suss out where your problem conceiving lies. We were barely making sense of what was going on with us let alone trying to explain it to those around us. All of our siblings and cousins are married off with children - we are the only ones having difficulty. Besides politely shrugging off the "When are you guys going to start having babies?" question at all the family gatherings, we really weren't comfortable going into specifics. I guess I felt defective in some way - like the most important job in the universe for a woman was the one thing I couldn't accomplish. Who wants to run around with a sticker on her forehead that reads "I'm Infertile?" People finally stopped asking questions - to our faces at least. My Mom would keep me in the loop as to who was feeling her out for information on our condition.

Enough about the past. Moving forward we have decided to thoroughly research all our options. My husband was adopted; so, we are hoping his Father will share his experiences in that area. We have begun researching agencies and the adoption process in our state. We haven't yet given up hope of conceiving and are also looking into different therapies, costs associated, and the success rates attached. I've always been really nerdy, and this process allows me to get my geek on.

We've also been including our family and friends in the loop and have been rewarded with encouraging feedback and advice. I will try to share more regularly as we find our way. We're over the stigma and are ready to plot our course into happiness!

Current Step: Research adoption and alternative fertility therapies pertaining to our conditions
Next Step: Meet with new fertility specialist and attend "Is adoption for you?" workshop
Ongoing Action: Continue steps to make our bodies healthier and keep friends and family in the loop

Hello! My name is Debbie Downer.

I haven't posted in quite some time. In all honesty, I've been feeling rather sorry for myself. It's a little pathetic to admit it, but I'm just going to let it all hang out on here. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. Of those years we've been trying to conceive for 6.Very early on in our efforts we learned that I have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Besides giving me horribly irregular, painful periods as well as other very unpleasant symptoms it makes for a difficult time of getting pregnant.

I went through the regular course of tests and one round of Clomid therapy to stimulate ovulation only to have our hopes shattered month after month when Auntie Flo came to visit. A year or so into the process my doctor had the bright idea that my husband should be tested as well. Go figure - he has some issues too. We were doubly tragic and broke, because our insurance doesn't cover fertility testing or treatment. We decided to take a break from the madness to repay our debt and regain our sanity.

Here we set a few years later - debt and lives in check. We have reached the age where all of our friends, family, and co-workers are paired off and expecting children. In the last 2 weeks, 3 ladies near and dear to me have announced they are expecting. I feel like a tool, because I'm heartbroken it's not me. Yes, I'm incredibly thrilled for them, but I can't control the sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. Then, I get even more disgusted at feeling that way. It really is a viscous cycle.

I'm not here to mope. I just needed to vent. Very few people in our lives outside of the immediate family know of our struggles. My blog is a safe place for me to put it all out into the universe without having to "say" it. It's time for us to make some big decisions as to how much time, effort, and money we want to invest in either becoming pregnant or adopting. Send some good vibes our way as we plot our course.