I know... Totally cliche right? But I want so badly for this to be true.
So what's new for me in 2013?
I'm going back to school - finally finishing my degree.
Really getting healthy - no fad diets here. We're talking lifestyle changes.
Removing negative influences - saying goodbye to people and things that bring me down.
Focusing on family - not only me and the hubby and our desire to have kids, but also our loved ones that get unknowingly neglected at times.
2012 was not the best year for me and my family. I'm glad to be able to start fresh in 2013... Plus 13 is my favorite number!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, January 4, 2013
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Anxiety Sucks
I have always been a mildly manic person. I tend to get really excited about things that make me happy or really caught up in things that make me anxious. I noticed it affecting me more after my husband survived a fire at our house that destroyed our second floor. I got really clingy with him. He was at home sleeping with our 2 dogs and 2 cats when the fire started in the bedroom. It was only by the Grace of God that he made it out unharmed. Unfortunately, one of our cats, Goomba, didn't make it out of the house.
Afterwards I started getting panic attacks. I didn't know that's what they were at first. I would be talking to the hubby on the phone, and when he hung up I felt physically different. I would immediately start thinking about where he was at and what he was doing. And then move straight towards the worst case scenario version of events in my head. These thoughts would cause my heart to beat really fast, palms to sweat, breath would come short and shallow. I thought I was suffocating. I would start to feel tingling all over and get really cold. Lastly, comes the tunnel vision. That's when it gets really scary.
I went to the doctor with these symptoms. She told me that my anxiety keeps me on my toes- somehow gives me an advantage. I've yet to see it like that. But her suggestion to me was to give up caffeine. So that's what I did - cold turkey. No coffee, no tea, no soda, no chocolate. I didn't sleep any better, and the overwhelming feeling that I was going to die or lose my husband was actually getting more severe. After 6 months doing it her way with no results I went back to her determined for her to listen to me. She agreed to put me on something that would slow down my heart rate which was the symptom I was having the most trouble with.
I've been doing better with the panic attacks, but the anxiety and the worst case scenario scenes still play round and round in my head. I've been tip-toeing into the world of meditation for relaxation and stress release. I've attended a very basic ContEd class through the school of metaphysics to help with the fundamentals. So far the thing that helps the best is a free app I've put on my smart phone. Now I think it boils down to how long I can stick with it so that is becomes a habit. I would love to conquer this mental weakness.
Afterwards I started getting panic attacks. I didn't know that's what they were at first. I would be talking to the hubby on the phone, and when he hung up I felt physically different. I would immediately start thinking about where he was at and what he was doing. And then move straight towards the worst case scenario version of events in my head. These thoughts would cause my heart to beat really fast, palms to sweat, breath would come short and shallow. I thought I was suffocating. I would start to feel tingling all over and get really cold. Lastly, comes the tunnel vision. That's when it gets really scary.
I went to the doctor with these symptoms. She told me that my anxiety keeps me on my toes- somehow gives me an advantage. I've yet to see it like that. But her suggestion to me was to give up caffeine. So that's what I did - cold turkey. No coffee, no tea, no soda, no chocolate. I didn't sleep any better, and the overwhelming feeling that I was going to die or lose my husband was actually getting more severe. After 6 months doing it her way with no results I went back to her determined for her to listen to me. She agreed to put me on something that would slow down my heart rate which was the symptom I was having the most trouble with.
I've been doing better with the panic attacks, but the anxiety and the worst case scenario scenes still play round and round in my head. I've been tip-toeing into the world of meditation for relaxation and stress release. I've attended a very basic ContEd class through the school of metaphysics to help with the fundamentals. So far the thing that helps the best is a free app I've put on my smart phone. Now I think it boils down to how long I can stick with it so that is becomes a habit. I would love to conquer this mental weakness.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
...dealing with the joys of home ownership.
I came home from a 12 hour day of work to learn that our hot water heater was leaking rusty water all over my laundry room floor. My husband was futilely trying to keep the leak controlled, but to no avail. So in times of crisis I did what I always do - call my parents.
If you are lucky enough to still have your parents in your life, then you know what I'm talking about. There are no greater people to solve the most ridiculous of issues or talk you through the most maddening of situations. My husband and I both work full time and generally not your standard, predictable hours. Luckily, my parents are retired and able to step in for us when we have these minor catastrophes. They are not only going to pick out our new water heater, but also coordinate the delivery and installation while we're at work. In a perfect world, I'll come home tomorrow night and be able to take a warm shower thanks to my amazing parents!
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