TTC Update

So along with the new year came my annual physical. My doctor was actually very open and engaging (which was a pleasant change). The appointment started on a positive note since I was down 20 pounds since my last exam! She congratulated me and her demeanor immediately switched to the new and improved version of my GP. Anyway - she decided to run some follow up blood work. The test results came back showing increased insulin levels and the decision was made to start metformin to combat those PCOS symptoms. I was slightly stressed about this initially, but after doing some of my own research have found that many women have great success using this treatment in their fertility journey. My previous physicians have had me on clomid and other hormone therapies. I'm anxious to see how this goes. I haven't had any horrible side effects. I guess we will wait and see.

Things that make me happy... January edition

We got 10 inches of snow! (Photo credit to my super talented father-in-law Steve Somermeyer)

How did I not know about this show until Netflix suggested it?

Russian (fruit) Tea - this is the perfect warm winter drink

The iHeartRadio app has gotten me through many miles/hours on the treadmill, especially the Evolution dance station.

Special K pastry crisps are amazing! Only 100 calories and oh so yummy!

Curious about organic foods

Last weekend while grocery shopping at my local supermarket I ended up purchasing waaay more organic food than usual. Don't get me wrong, as far as produce goes we try to buy local/organic as much as possible, but we've never gone much beyond that. My thought process is this: why buy organic processed foods when the preservatives alone are enough to induce cancer. However, my grocery store was running some ridiculous sale (Buy 10 participating items / get $5 off at checkout) that left most of the shelves practically post-apocalyptic empty. We were running on bare-bones as it was, so we purchased new variations of our staple items. I brought home organic butter, organic boxed mac and cheese, organic breakfast pastries, organic canned soups... you get the picture.

I hate to say it, but I loved them all!!! Now... I have no idea if I could tell a difference given a blind taste test, but to me the organic versions were all tastier. I felt better eating them too - like the guilt of my sugary breakfast treat was somehow less because of the organic label. Ohmygoodness!What have I gotten myself into? I guess I will just have to try a little of each to see which ones really come out on top. It sounds like a pretty terrific challenge to me!

Hello! My name is Debbie Downer.

I haven't posted in quite some time. In all honesty, I've been feeling rather sorry for myself. It's a little pathetic to admit it, but I'm just going to let it all hang out on here. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. Of those years we've been trying to conceive for 6.Very early on in our efforts we learned that I have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Besides giving me horribly irregular, painful periods as well as other very unpleasant symptoms it makes for a difficult time of getting pregnant.

I went through the regular course of tests and one round of Clomid therapy to stimulate ovulation only to have our hopes shattered month after month when Auntie Flo came to visit. A year or so into the process my doctor had the bright idea that my husband should be tested as well. Go figure - he has some issues too. We were doubly tragic and broke, because our insurance doesn't cover fertility testing or treatment. We decided to take a break from the madness to repay our debt and regain our sanity.

Here we set a few years later - debt and lives in check. We have reached the age where all of our friends, family, and co-workers are paired off and expecting children. In the last 2 weeks, 3 ladies near and dear to me have announced they are expecting. I feel like a tool, because I'm heartbroken it's not me. Yes, I'm incredibly thrilled for them, but I can't control the sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. Then, I get even more disgusted at feeling that way. It really is a viscous cycle.

I'm not here to mope. I just needed to vent. Very few people in our lives outside of the immediate family know of our struggles. My blog is a safe place for me to put it all out into the universe without having to "say" it. It's time for us to make some big decisions as to how much time, effort, and money we want to invest in either becoming pregnant or adopting. Send some good vibes our way as we plot our course.

...recovering from vacation.

Why do I always feel like upon returning from a vacation I need another 2 to 5 days off at home to recuperate? Granted I didn't pick the most relaxing of holidays. A 1,300 mile road trip to Canada over 4 days to a festival concert with a "new" friend. I realize that last sentence had a lot going on it; so, let me break it down for you.

Yes, I decided to drive from Greenwood, Indiana to Toronto, Ontario and back over the course of a long weekend. Call me crazy, but I drive on average 100 miles a day in a work week anyway. I didn't think 1,300 miles would be terribly taxing on me. Boy was I wrong! We left home at 11am on Thursday. The bags all neatly stowed alongside the cooler of bottled water and Big Red Zero in the back of my car while Liza and I excitedly chatted about our upcoming adventure.

Liza and I have known each other for 5 years or so. Well, maybe "known" is a bit too familiar a term. Acquainted is a better fit. Our husbands are close friends, and we have rarely done anything throughout the years without them as a buffer. In fact, my husband was originally supposed to be my traveling companion, but had to back out due to work. I knew that Liza was someone I'd like to get to know better and was always tons of fun at dinners - so why not invite her to take his place? The trip turned out to be very informative.

The 4 hour drive from Indy to Frankenmuth, Michigan went very well. She and I chatted pleasantly about all sorts of things, took pictures of oddities we saw along the road, and still had energy to go out and explore our layover destination. (See attached picture.) It was the drive from Michigan to Canada where things started to teeter into a not-so-good space. It was long and boring. We were tired and hungry and running out of things to talk about. My GPS directed us to avoid the major roadways and instead suggested a roundabout way that provided little to no entertainment. Liza had a full bladder and none of the gas stations or convenience stores provided washrooms for public use, but they do have ketchup flavored potato chips and pickle flavored Doritos.

We finally arrive at our hotel at 8pm Friday. The first clue that this was not going to be a relaxing stay in a swanky hotel were the scores of unattended children literally running through the lobby. As we ride the elevator to our 7th floor suite we hear the din of screaming children coming from the first 4 floors. The pool, bar, and business centre were overrun with hockey kids and their inebriated parents. Oh joy!

Canada has some odd notions about alcohol. The legal drinking age in Toronto is 19, but liquor isn't sold in grocery stores. You can choose from either the LCBO or the Beer Hut, both of which close at 9pm. Liza and I drove with purpose to reach the LCBO before closing time. We did and were able to play a nice little drinking game while watching Say Yes to the Dress - good thing they cry a lot on those shows.

Saturday was concert day and my entire purpose for planning this road trip in the first place. Liza woke up barfing from last night's hotel TV games. We slept through the free hot breakfast. She and I finally pulled it together enough to get dressed and out the door, grab some fast food, and make it to EdgeFest in time to hear the Dirty Heads on stage as we walked up to the gates. We make it through check-in and get in line for our free Smirnoff samples. After that we quickly learn that all the vendors only accept cash (CAD) and the onsite ATMs don't like American debit cards. "Declined" Liza doesn't want to stay unless she can drink. So we saunter up to security and ask if we can get an exception to come back into the festival if we leave to go get money. Vincent, the security guard, says that one of us can leave while the other one stays with him at the gate - NO! Liza's husband would kill me if he knew I left his wife alone at a concert in a foreign country, even if it is Canada. So we walk around a bit trying to engineer a creative solution. No such luck. We both leave and Vincent tells us if we can find some cash and he is still at the gate he'll let us back in. Trusty Carmen, the Garmin, directed us to a lovely ATM that actually liked my card enough to give me some cash! We made it back over to the concert in time to see my highlight of the show Silversun Pickups. I had enough cash to buy us each 2 drinks, but unfortunately no concert shirt for the hubby. :-( We left right after Silversun and ran back to the hotel to bathe and relax after the day's stress. Very little talking Saturday night, but a really good delivery pizza and soda in French cans.

Sunday morning we wake up semi-refreshed and make it down to breakfast where we both people watch more than talk. Uh~oh not a good way to start a 12 hour day that will be spent in the car. Trying to get home my GPS navigated us in circles. Liza decided she was too bored to navigate and instead asked to drive. Together we plotted a course in a Southwesterly direction.  We didn't talk at all unless it was too make a stop or switch roadways. It turned into a horribly long trip filled with wrong turns and detours. We arrived at her house at 7pm. She was in such a hurry to get out of my car that she left her camera and alcohol. She didn't even want me to help her in with her bags. I believe her parting words were, "I'll see you when I see you." I think this trip may have ruined any chance of us being real friends.

I'm just exhausted and so thankful to be in my home with my bed and my husband and be able to cuddle with my fur babies. Let the vacation from my vacation begin!